Dear Fred Hoiberg:
First of all welcome to the University of Nebraska men’s basketball program! The people of this proud state are prepared to embrace you with open arms. I think you’ll find that Nebraskans are some of the nicest, most decent people on the planet. Just make sure that you are always honest and straight forward with them or they’ll rip your head off, chew it into little pieces and spit it into the Platte River. But if you try hard and you’re aboveboard with folks around here, they will treat you like a king.
Bill Moos faces the most difficult decision of his life, with the possible exception of having to decide to leave the relatively temperate climate of Washington state for a place where winters tend to be harsher than on the South Pole outback. I figured I’d lend a hand to Moos and offer up these suggestions for a new head Nebraska basketball coach.
There’s an age-old argument over whether certain activities that we watch and/or participate in are in fact actual sports. It’s time to settle these debates once and for all. My criteria is not readily definable but I know a real sport when I see one.
Anyone can try to predict which team will win Super Bowl 53, formally known as Super Bowl XXXXLLLLVIIIIIII. Instead, I will attempt to forecast how the CBS Super Bowl broadcast will go down, from start to finish, hitting most of the highlights. Fasten your seat belt - some of this ain’t pretty.
There have been a plethora of movies about sports. Some were excellent, others fairly good and quite a few were dismal. The same goes for the performances. Say what you will, it takes guts for an actor or actress to attempt to portray an athlete especially when they do their own difficult stunts like bending over to field a ground ball. Below is my completely subjective ranking of some of those who have tried, ranked from worst to best.
Some of my fondest childhood memories revolve around my extended family traveling to Husker football away games inside a Buick that was pulling a camper.
This was back in the halcyon 1970s a few years after the Huskers had won back-to-back national championships and it was all but impossible to score tickets to home games without paying a guy on the street named Guido $400 for a pair of seats that may turn out to be fake. One sign you’d just purchased fake tickets from a scalper: there was a photo of Guido on the ticket. Another sign your tickets were fake: you’d buy nine and all nine would read “Row 22, seat 7.”
During the thirteen years that I was a staff writer for “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno” NBC featured a tremendous number of athletes on the program, even though Jay possibly knew less about sports than almost any human on the planet.
You name the sport and we had athletes and/or coaches on the show. From the NFL, to the XFL, to college football, to the NBA, to the World Series MVP, to gold medal-winning Olympic athletes.
Although he’s only a true freshman it’s crystal clear that Husker quarterback Adrian Martinez is a very special player. How special? I don’t think it’s too early to begin working on his future Heisman Trophy acceptance speech. I’ve taken the liberty of putting together a draft of a suitable speech for Adrian.
University of Nebraska Cornhusker football fans have gone through a miserable stretch for most of the past several years. It’s been difficult because these are proud folks who expect excellence in the program. Still, I think Thanksgiving would be a good time for Husker fans to stop and count their many blessings.
Below is a partial list.
I sort of hate it when the University of Nebraska football team scores its first touchdown in a game because it means that thousands of red balloons will be released into the atmosphere and eventually land where the balloons may be encountered by hungry wildlife. Some of that wildlife will be strangled to death; entangled in the balloons and not be able to get to real food sources; or possibly have the balloon just eaten block their intestines or bind to their beaks leading to a slow, tortuous death. None of those sound like a good way to go.
Imagine you’re a beaver or a sea turtle or even a skunk. (C’mon, skunks have feelings too!) You’re hungry and haven’t eaten in days when along comes this bright, floating object and it plops down right in front of you. It’s basically the animal version of Jimmy John’s. It landed beside you so of course you’re going to eat it, right?
I hit a pothole in Old Mill so large that it briefly knocked the wind out of me.
There's a new type of shoes for kids called Hickies. I'm just glad there is no possible negative connotation for this name.
So he didn't have to buy any chocolate eggs one year my dad told me the Easter Bunny was run over by a Fed Ex truck.
So he didn't have to buy any chocolate eggs one year my dad told me the Easter Bunny got run over by a Fed Ex truck.
Because this is Omaha the Easter Bunny was seen leaving a vape shop.
OK, who wants to get the Easter Bunny out of the pothole on Leavenworth Street? Hold on, kids, the eggs are still coming.